The life and the life of life of Lance

Lance's blog is dead.

Ahhh, the joy of knowing you decide what your blog does for you and not what you do for your blog. It was very relieving taking a hiatus from the invisible-pull of having to be expected to blog.

Staying away from mainstream blogs and bloggers was important for me to maintain a low profile. As with more mention of your name, means higher competition, means higher politics, means more expectations. I hate dislike f@gk heart-less politics. =)

I like to make my blog my own. A place I can post anything without worry of others criticizing a bad climax or just a plain boring post.

Take for example;


A plain picture of Secret Recipe and its scrumptious-yummilicious-booty-kickaround-okay-that's-enough-hyphens-for-a-deliciously-descriptive-word cake.


A swab of absolutely-fabulous-gooey-shuttup Tesco® toothpaste.


And my leg hair.

Full stop. I move on to the next topic and there's not a thing you can do about it. Take that for expectations. Hah! *puffs chest*

Anyway, enough about pointless rants. Here's a few updates of the journey over the past few months. Its a nostalgic feeling to come back here after a while.

Since my ultimately horrible grades on the first three years of my university, I decided that it was pointless being stuck on the low end. After my internship in Nuffnang, I decided to buy myself a whip and whip'em marks up.

My hard work paid off. I ended up here...


To get some donuts before I headed here of course...


Hewlett-Packard! Ah, the wet dream of any IT nerd.

Living a new life after university may sound scary, but I guess when you adapt to it, it's not so bad. I'm enjoying this whole new era with both eyes and a mouth open for anything edible.

I got a new watch.


Which reflects.


Wow.

I got fabulous colleagues.


Wow.

I won a trophy on my first try at a speech in Toastmasters.


Wow.

I think that needs another shot.


Last one.


Just one more.


Really last one.


Okay, this really is the final one...


Wow.

I got to go to Parmesan Renaissance for 2 days of orientation where I had omgwtfbbqdvdgorgeousliciouslollipopping food.


It really is Renaissance.


The food was gorgeous.


So were the desserts. I kid you not.


Wow.

Oh, I also have Milo that literally loves me at work.


I did say literally.

Wow.

For the uninformed, I'm photoshop illiterate.

Lance's blog is not dead.

EXAMS.ARE.OVER.PERIOD.

Its all over!! Everything! Every single thing that involves staring at endless PowerPoint slides and rotting at home with Final Year Projects as your official source of entertainment! Now all that's left is the announcement of my results and my supplementary exam dates wtfomfgbbqdvd.

"My FYP partner, Stephanie. Note that she is busy 'designing' VERY-VERY IMPORTANT sketches of cute-cute manga characters for the project"

The moment I stepped out of the hall of my-very-last-paper-of-my-very-final-exam-of-my-very-final-trimester- *inhale*-of-my-very-final-year-of-my-very-final-academic-institution- *inhale*of-my-very-final-life *inhale one more time*, life felt bliss. It felt like I could have every single chick in the world, and no male with even the biggest dose of testosterone dared stand up to me. Hoho. Shut up. Moving on...

However, it struck me.

No more Cyber life.


No more RM1.50 rip-the-shop-off Nasi Campur.


No more burger-voucher-eating girls.


No more squishing M&M's under the library table during exam periods.


No more bimbo-ing at Marche's.


No more groping backsides at the Putrajaya ERL.


No more sudden home-cooked Bak Kut Teh surprises by grandma at my uncle's place.


No more chasing my guinea pig out of my home's IKEA couch.


No more convincing my lil couz that the State-Of-The-Art Ribena DX-43LE Hi-Tech DSLR is
tons better and advanced than my IXUS 75.


No more "Kenny Says"... *thank you god. thank you god. thank you god.*


No more sneak peaks at a Malaysian-Government-Spy whosenameI'mnotgoingtorevealasJunShengoops.


No more watching friends sleep in the most unique Yoga poses possible and wake up with a very painless body the next day.


No more Geloto CG.

And last but not least,


No more hangin' out with my Penang peepz. *sniff*

Oh wait, that wasn't Cyber related now, was it? Hoho.

All in all, I had a pretty unique university experience. With the most unique part being not really having a real fixed group of friends to hang out with in Cyberjaya. But I guess that applies to my now very different personality and that life won't always be perfect.

Beginning a whole new level in life will be real eye opening and hopefully things will look really great on the other side.

Oh, and for being such a sad case on the state of having 'real' friends. Here's a tribute to best peepz I had. I really couldn't have gone through much without them.

"My bro (Win Son), Me, Alex & Jo Wen"

Uni life is undoubtedly bittersweet.

My Other

Well, to start things off. I'd like to introduce someone who's rather important to me.

Oh yes, its a girl, no doubt. I'm not a playboy

Meet Kerrey.

"Oh Espreski.. hehe..."

She's definitely not your average flirty wannabe girl you see everyday in class. Nope. At least not to me, she isn't.

Well, I "met" this girl back in 2004 ON THE PHONE. Through who or what, I have no idea really. The only justifiable reason I could find is that she knew my bro and we all played chess back in secondary school.

We initially chatted a little, got each other's MSN contacts, clicked well, spoke on down-to-earth topics and since then, bing-boom-bang, she became my godsis and we kept in touch a lot just like that.

The really cool idea behind this whole scenario is that we had not once met each other face to face throughout the whole time. It'd be either through MSN or through the phone once in a while.

And after so long, we decided to meet up at Gurney Plaza last year during my industrial training stint in Penang.

In Dome.


Drinking Espreski.

"The only illustration left. We drank it all"

I guess we spent most of the time indulging in this very peculiar drink, wondering why its so addictive compared to the likes of Coffee Bean or Starbucks' Ice Blended Drinks. It was the first time we had Espreski. Seriously.

Drinking it was a real Coffee-High.

If I were drinking it with my cousin, it'd be definitely the likes of this;

"Coffeeeeeeee Hiiiiiggghhhhh"

Too bad it wasn't.

And so instead, we had to act sober while leaving Dome instead. Talk about disappointment.

That wasn't the end of course.

The second time we met up, we headed for Batu Feringghi and snapped a few shots before sunset. I'll leave the photos to speak for themselves.





It was great meeting her up although I didn't fancy the idea of meeting people you met through cyberspace. Read the news. Occasionally, I'd still ask myself why I gave her the exception.


I know. I was fat then.

Antique Collections

I finally came around to doing that one thing I have somewhat religiously avoided doing for the past 6 months;

Connect my friggin' phone to my PC.

Yes, I have dimwittedly avoided such a chore for a whole half a year. And for the only reason being too lazy and primarily to avoid blogging.

I just could never quite understand why I would so much as dislike blogging as opposed to how I felt about it back when I made my very first post.

"Just when you thought that drinking tea never would sound crazy"

So many pictures that I took over the months. Fresh to be blogged about.

"A typical day in Kinabalu Pine Resort. What can I say? Love the mornings"

In a way, looking at them makes me feel guilty for not following up frequently with new posts. The only justifiable reason? Work.

"Godsis, need I say more? Oh right, the parasail ain't photoshopped"

Don't get me wrong, every time I post up a new entry, I'd feel good. Its like a release of the daily newspaper up for grabs. I'd feel even better when my readers enjoy reading what I write. Of course, the higher the expectations, the bigger the disappointment.

"A morse code addict"

Thus, the reason for this post is just a little update here and there with a few unconnected photos, illustrating what's been going on over the 6 month silence. Gosh, I can't even believe such a long period of time had passed.

"A Kerachut experience"

I don't think I'll be able to blog a whole 6 month experience in a single post. So I guess I'll take it slowly. Of course, this time I won't make empty promises on the frequency of my posts.

I guess I can conclude that my blog plug would reduce after finally retrieving all the long due photos to my PC. I'm glad that I did anyway. I'd hang myself if I lost the whole archive in the blink of an eye.

"My lovely couz, Jane"

I'll be back for more. =)

Double-Edged Sensations

Its been a really awkward day today.

Consider this; you feel all really happy and joyful, wishing so much to converse with any single person you come across.

YET, you feel like hiding within the comforts and security of your own home while trying to avoid any contact with people around you.


Talk about hypocrisy.

Don't get me wrong, I do love the idea of hanging out with friends. But recently, my choice of friends seem very limited. I prefer hanging out with a minimal bunch I feel comfortable with. In Cyberjaya, they're either working or living far, far away. In Penang, its not that much different.

I like to ponder upon the choices I've taken in my life to come up to this very day. Many have turned out awful.

A close friend once told me that people change for the better over time, no matter the choices they make.

I guess my choices only allowed me to realize that what I wanted was somewhere else.

I don't want to be just another being who sits in front of a screen everyday with the only part of my body that exercises being only my fingers. I want to make my own dreams for me to achieve.


"That some achieve great success, is proof to all that others can achieve it as well."

I've always admired Abraham Lincoln for his bravery and undying courage to fight for what he believes in. And its easy to say that not many can actually live up to his level of determination to go that extra mile even if it means having sacrifice alot.

Maybe it has come to a time for me to take up arms and brave the incoming obstacles. I've learned my capabilities over the years. Its time to make the best use of them.

To fall and get back up again

It is indeed not easy to accept failure.

A sudden outburst of hope to be diminished so quickly not just caused me to lose hope, but all that I had ever put into it to crumble into bits and pieces.


Failure still sticks to me like gum under my shoe. Its horridly difficult to remove, and though slowly it peels after time, there'll be a small scar which stubbornly remains.

I've spent the past few days licking my wounds, trying to grasp hold onto something. Anything. Only to find thin rigid branches that could just bear a small level of my weight. It was something at least.

My thoughts are swaying less now, I feel better. Though its not over yet, I'm on the journey to recovery.

P.S. I Love You

Its the irony of events that happen around you which result in your actions and thoughts to change drastically. I for one, had never expected to see such coming my way.

Its been over the recent years in which I've been slowly trying to make the best out of whatever I had left. It wasn't easy. Many a time I felt like giving up. Eventually my character had to change to suit my current pace of life.


I was neck-deep in water.

Yet, yesterday I took a huge leap of faith. One of those which I would never attempt foolishly even though if I were bribed a million dollars.


It was a huge decision to make, it was now or never.

But of course, though how noble a "Leap Of Faith" would sound, it never meant it came without risks, nor would it mean that I would succeed.

I was ready for failure. But I never prepared for the aftermath. It was a self-devastating experience none other could feel but myself.

This post, unlike other previous ones, is to mark my change of direction in blogging. It was never about fame, nor the fortune you can strike out of it. Its about how I could really express myself without boundaries.

The past silent months were meant to filter all remaining humor-seekers as I try to look for a much more passionate sense of blogging for me. Of course, there'll be the usual antics that I may choose to occasionally put up. But I'd love to blog without an expecting reader group.

How I wish for the months coming to fly by quickly like a gentle but steady breeze. I know I have a lot of patience. Though some may beg to differ, I've proven it to myself over the past few years. But whatever patience I have left, is thinning by the day.

I want to resume my life, what I stood strong in 4 years ago. I want to be confident. I want to achieve as I did.


People say that we shouldn't dwell in the past. But if doing so means being able to clear your mind, reset your goals, and tell yourself that you have a chance of fighting to achieve what you could do previously, then that'll be what I'll do.

I'll withstand the trials a little longer.

I'll push a little further.